Week 34 - The Fraternal Truce

Hey there everyone! Its week 34 and I'm getting freakishly close to becoming an official Big Brother!

You know, this whole Big Brother thing is starting to grow on me. I keep looking for an adversary in him but that's not really fair. After all, who can compete with ALL OF THIS?

Yep, there's just no challenge there. Really. Its like fishing with dynamite. Rather than preparing for a battle, I'm preparing to receive my little brother, my new friend,………..and my fall guy. Hey, don't look at me like that! Everything is setting up perfectly for this. I can blame him for just about everything that happens in the house. After all what do you think he's going to do about it? Speak up and voice his concerns? HA! He won't start talking for a WHILE so I've got months and months of blame-free fun heading my way. Score.

So what's new with my new little scapegoat? Not a whole lot to be honest. From here on out, these updates are going to be pretty thin as far as developments go. He's pretty much ready to roll right now! He just needs to put on a little weight. Right now he weighs about 5lbs and is about 18" tall. Baby Brother needs to put on some pounds if he expect to be anywhere near where I was when I was born, so from here on out that's his main job. Will he measure up to the legendary size and stature of his Big Brother? Only time will tell.

Its starting to be a bumpy ride in there for Baby Brother from here on out. Remember a while back I told you that the amniotic fluid levels stabilized in there? Well, it doesn't take a math whiz to figure this out:

unchanging levels of fluid + growing baby = NO WIGGLE ROOM!

There's less cushion in there, and there's no more room inside mommy. He's been trying to make the best of things by rotating head-down a few weeks ago, and now he's even shifting down a little. Mommy's friends call that "carrying low". Daddy calls it "binge eating". Either way, she's about ready to pop!

There's a few things in there still "cooking" a little, one of which is his liver. Its almost fully formed at this point, and he can already process regular amounts of waste without a problem. Its functional enough for him to survive at this point, so its basically done. He just needs to beef it up a little. Maybe get it into the gym to workout with some liver-weights. And it better give its best effort too. I want to see its liver-best, not its liverwurst! (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Get it? Liverwurst? Oh man, this is good stuff)

You know what else is ready to go right now? His immune system! Its developed enough to the point that he could fight off small infections all by  himself. No assistance from mommy's system needed! That being said, we're not planning on sending him into a leprosy ward or anything like that. He's far from invincible, and I should know because that's ME! Toughest kid on the block. The reason for this is because when I get on an adrenaline rush, I can plow through anybody that stands in my way. What's that? Daddy thinks he can stop me from getting to the fridge? Sorry old man, but I'm riding an adrenaline buzz and you're not going to stop me. I want my blueberries!!!!! And if he thought that it was tough enough handling just me, wait until baby brother gets here! As of right now he has fully formed adrenal glands and will be ready to be my trusty sidekick. Can you picture TWO adrenaline-charged Joiner boys running wild? Man its going to be crazy.

Other than those developments, we're just playing the waiting game right now. The clock is ticking. When do you think Baby Brother will arrive? We'll put it to a vote! Along with the baby name polls, there's going to be a arrival date poll. Give us your best guess!

Gotta potty. Catch ya later!

Andrew Joiner, Big Brother