Week 14 - 3 Month Tests are back!

Hello there, loyal readers! Its me, Baby Joiner, with the latest news from the womb!

First of all, I've got more good news to share with you guys. The doctors and nurses had some tests waiting for me at the 3 month exam last week. The nerve of those guys! No warnings at all, so I had no time to study or anything! Luckily these tests weren't that tough - they just took a few drops of blood from mommy so I didn't have to do much. They were testing for things like "Down's Syndrome" among others, and I passed with flying colors! I mean, they didn't have to take mommy's blood - they could've just asked me, "Hey kid, you got Down's?" And I could've just shouted back "Naw man, I'm all good in here". But oh well, I guess they have to justify their presence somehow.

My daddy also edited the video of “Ultrasound: The Movie” down to a smaller clip so you can see and hear my heart beating! I’m pretty proud of this one, I’ve got a strong heart! Make sure you check it out. Its only a few seconds long but its some of my finer work. Not that I’m bragging. Ok, I’m bragging. Keep checking back, it'll be up soon.

So I bet you're wondering what's new in here. Well, tons! I'm getting bigger and bigger - I'm now about 3.5 inches tall! My arms are now proportionally sized to match my body, which is good because for a while I thought I was looking kinda freakish. My arms are also starting to grow little baby hair. In fact, I'm starting to grow little baby hair EVERYWHERE! To imagine what this looks like, just go to the grocery store and find a really fuzzy peach. That's pretty much it!

I've got all kinds of things inside my body starting up now too. Apparantly I have something called a "liver", "kidneys" and a "spleen", and they're starting to do....well, whatever it is they do. Daddy says that the spleen thing is going to make red blood cells for me, so I guess I don't have to steal so much blood from mommy. My liver is making bile, whatever that is. As far as that kidney thing, I'll get back to that in a second.

I've learned a couple new tricks too! I've learned to kick and punch and grab things just like mommy in her karate class. I don't know if she can feel it yet, but man I'm really wailing on her in here! I keep hitting this diaphragm thing and it makes her hiccup...just once. Its hysterical. I like to catch her off guard with that a few times a day. Yep, just wait'll I bust outta this joint - I'm gonna be punching and kicking everything in sight! Word in here is that there's some doctor that thinks he's gonna sneak up on me and give me a slap once I get outta here. Well if he thinks I'm just going to stand there and take it he's got another thing coming. You hear that, Mr. Doctor? I'm onto you!

My last trick that I learned is how to make faces. I can squint, frown, grimace, smile, you name it! So yes, I can make all of those funny expressions that mom and dad make. I actually look a lot like one of them too. Which one, you ask? Heh heh heh...yet another secret I plan on keeping for another few months! I just LOVE keeping these secrets!

Oh, these facial expressions are coming in handy too. Remember that whole "kidneys started working" thing I told you about? Well, yeah that's a bit of a problem. You see, now that my kidneys are working, I've started this thing that dad calls "peeing". And the bad part about being stuck in here is that there's nowhere for it to go, so I'm stuck with it in here with me! I mean c'mon mom! You couldn't devise a better system than this? You couldn't install a little baby urinal or ANYTHING??? At this point I'd even go for one of those "trough-style" systems that you have at football stadiums. I can't just pull the womb over at the closest 7-11 and run into the bathroom or anything. So yes my FROWN is getting quite a workout. Yours would too if you had to float around in your own pee. Curse you woman!

OK, so that's what I've got going on. Meanwhile, the baby names are getting tossed about. Some sound good, and some make me think that daddy needs a straightjacket. Doesn't that guy realize that I'll be stuck with this name for LIFE?????

Here are a few names that I keep hearing mommy and daddy talk about. For a boy name, they mention “James Donald” a lot. For a girl name, I heard them bring up “Emma Rose”. What do you guys think?

Don’t forget to vote in all of the polls over on the right side of the page! There will probably be a new poll or two every week! Take an extra second or two to check to the sides and bottom of the blog every week because I’m putting stuff all over the place.