Week 13 - SURPRISE!!!!!!

Hi everybody! I'm Baby Joiner! Welcome to my blog. That's right, MY blog! In exchange for keeping quiet and hiding from everybody for the past 12 weeks, my daddy says I can start blogging to let everybody know how I'm doing.

The only thing is - I'm not really sure what a "blog" is. Granted, the whole english language is pretty new to me, but I'm pretty dang sure that its some new, hip slang that was started by a group of people called "teenagers". I'm not really sure what that group is either, but from what I hear they cause a lot of trouble. And from Daddy's yelling, I can tell that they don't "get outta the dang road" when he's driving home. I can't wait to be one!

So as you read these blogs, just keep in mind that its a BABY typing and don't be too critical. I'm not totally hip to the ways of the world just yet, so you'll have to help me as I learn new lingo and explore.....well, EVERYTHING!

I know what your next question is - how can a baby type? What, you don't believe me? Curse your hides for doubting me! Right now I'm rocking a BabyMatic 2000 mini-bluetooth keyboard. I got it off the internet a few weeks back. It didn't cost much (I swiped daddys AMEX # when he was ordering Gator Gear online - I learned that from mommy), but from what I heard the delivery was a real pain to deal with! I mean really mom, what's more important - saving you a little discomfort, or the world hearing the thoughts of Baby Joiner?! Yeah, that's what I thought.

Okay I guess its time I start to "blog" now. Funny story though, at first I thought "blog" was what mommy did at random times during the day. She'd eat something, and just when I was getting some nourishment flowing down the ol' food tube, I'd hear something that sounded like "BLLLOOOOOOGGG" and the food would go away. What the deuce? Anyways, I heard her talking to daddy later and he said she was "puking". I guess they don't really name things like they sound in the english language. Too bad, learning would be so much easier! Don't worry about mommy, she's feeling much better and has sent lots of food down to me.

Right now I'm 12 weeks old, or MINUS 6 months old in outside-of-mommy years. (I turn 13 weeks old on Friday, 6/26, according to a little book mommy carries around) How am I doing? Well, pretty good I guess. Granted, my life experiences are somewhat limited at this point but from what I can tell all is well. I've got arms, legs, eyes that I refuse to open (I'm typing "Ray-Charles-Style" right now), ears, the whole nine yards. I'm about 3 inches tall right now, and my head doesn't look like a giant alien head any more! I'm finally starting to get taller and my head looks more balanced, which is good because I don't have much room in here. I also have little fingerprints now. Blast! Up until now I could've committed some sort of little baby crime and left no identifying marks at the scene. Now I've got fingerprints to deal with. Oh well, my only choices now are to behave....or buy little bitty baby gloves.

Check this out - I weigh about an ounce right now. Think of all the things that just weigh an ounce. Things like.....y'know.....uh.....a one ounce weight. (Curse you, limited life experience! I can't think of anything else!) The good news is that I'm strong enough to move myself around this cramped little efficiency-apartment-of-a-womb that I'm stuck in right now. I wiggle around a little bit to get some exercise but mommy can't really tell when I'm doing that just yet. For now I pretty much just kick my feet up and relax. I've got a lot of growing to do!

Oh I almost forgot - I had my first live performance this past tuesday! Some of you have seen a few still pictures of "Ultrasound: The Movie" but unfortunately very few of you got to see me in action. Not to worry though, daddy said that he would post some video clips online soon so you'll at least get a glimpse into my crazy skills. Make sure you keep checking back to this blog to get the latest pictures, videos, random baby thoughts, etc. Just to give you a sneak peek, here's some of the things you can see me doing on the video:

- Laying on my back with my feet propped up, just like daddy does.
- Squirming when some nurse lady pokes at me. (Don't test me woman, I know who you are!)
- Showing off my ultra-cool heart, pumping blood all through my little baby body!
- And more!

So stay tuned for more hot baby blogging action! I plan on posting something new each week to keep everyone up to date on my progress as I grow. Also starting next week I'll keep everyone posted as to some of the names that mommy and daddy are tossing around for me. To be honest, some of the suggestions right now are downright funny. Well, either daddy is being funny or he's a complete idiot that plans on scarring me for life with some exotic name. Since they don't know if I'm a boy or girl yet (and I won't tell them! Hee hee hee! Its a fun game I like to play), I'll show a boy and girl name each week. Send them feedback please! I don't want to be stuck with some wierdo name.

More BabyTalk next week. Come on back!
-Baby Joiner