Week 21 - Blackjack Week

Hello everybody! Its week 21 of my baby brother's pre-birth life, or as my daddy likes to call it….Blackjack Week! Yes, he actually thinks its funny to throw a gambling reference into gauging the milestone of my little brother's growth.

As previously stated, my dad's an idiot. What's next, comparing 30 weeks to a keg stand? Maybe we'll name week 35 "Meth Week". Or maybe week 38 will become "Go Play in Traffic Week".

Its been a busy week since I found out that I was having a baby brother. I've had lots of little projects that I've been working on, aside from my preps for our upcoming battle. The most notable project so far is the organization of my old baby clothes and swag. I'm willing to be flexible on the clothes. None of that old gear fits me anymore and it just takes up space, so I'm willing to let it go….for a price. Time to pony up some money little man!

Things are going to get a little dicey when it comes to toys though. I know that my parents are big on "sharing", but come on man! That's my playset! My piano! My stuffed doggie! Mine mine mine!!!! And quit saying I'm "in the mine stage"! Its not a stage! The world is MINE! 

Alright, I'm calm now. Look, I'll THINK about sharing most of my baby stuff but there's no WAY he gets near my Legos. This Lego Ban also extends to Mega Blocks, my wooden Garanimals blocks, and any other similar creations that I haven't been made hip to yet.

But enough about my baby gear, lets move on. Baby brother has been getting more and more REM sleep - WAY more than daddy, I might add. I swear, that guy is like a zombie sometimes. I'm pretty sure he's not "Walking Dead" type of zombie, but just in case he IS…….well, let's just say I'm pretty handy with a crossbow.

Anyways, baby brother is dreaming more as a result of this deep sleep. I can only assume that he's dreaming up ways to challenge me, so I plan on responding in kind. Fortunately for me I have years of experience under my belt which should give me an edge. Well, that and my massive "guns".

Baby Bro is also working on his own version of stealth technology. His transparent skin is now turning pinkish red, which I can only assume is to mimic his surroundings in an attempt to camouflage himself. I mean seriously, why else would he turn pinkish red? That makes no sense!

Oh yeah. Increased bloodflow, getting to the skin…..beginnings of fatty tissue…..okay fine that could be a cause but I'm SURE he's doing that on purpose! Bottom line - he's using camo as far as I'm concerned. But that's okay because I've got some of my own! Check out my bad-to-the-bone camo shorts!

And as far as the growth chart is concerned, he keeps shooting right up there. He's up to 11 inches tall. Yes, no more "crown to rump" crap. It looks like the doctors finally abandoned that crap and started measuring "the total package". He's also packing on the pounds. Well, pound. Okay, not quite a pound yet - more like 3/4lb - but danger he's getting up there FAST!

There's one last development that I've been made aware of - his digestive system is up and running. Yep, he's processing his own nutrients right now on a limited basis. And let me tell you, he's going to NEED a strong digestive system to help choke down some of the name suggestions that have been floating around! I'll whittle down the list to be the best two so far.

Mom has suggested "Lucas Michael Joiner" and dad has suggested "Johnathan Robert Joiner". Lets take it to the people and see what you guys think! Just click on the poll on the right side of the screen. One or the other, or NEITHER if they stink.

Alright folks, gotta run. There's a potty with my name on it. Well no literally, but with a little more practice maybe I could write my name on it…..

Andrew Joiner, Big Brother