Week 28 - Prepping For a Photo Shoot

Hey there Baby Stalkers! Its week 28 and I'm feeling great! This is the beginning of the third trimester, also known as the "Period of Fetal Viability". Why is it called that? Because I've got at least a 90% chance of survival if I decide to bust outta here early. You hear that death? You can bite me! I'm heading into the world and nothing can stop me now!

I think I'll bide my time a little though. I want better odds than that.

Okay, this week we're gonna start on the inside and work our way out to my most recent changes in appearance. Its not to be wierd, its for a very good reason. So read on!

Let's start off with the ol' baby gray matter. I'm sure that all of you think you know just how smart I am right now. Ladies and gentlemen, we haven't even scratched the SURFACE of my genius! Go ahead, try to find another baby that is MINUS 3 months old that can type, plot, and smack talk like I can. Go ahead, I'll be through college and on my way to ruling the world before anything CLOSE to this ever comes around again....and that'll be MY boy!

Okay I'm a genius....so what's the point, you ask? My point is that my baby brain is starting to look like a real brain now. Before it was kinda smooth, but now it has ridges and grooves. I know its all a part of the growing process, but think about it. If I'm already THIS smart, just picture what I'll be like once I'm born!

So what does a baby that's wise beyond his age DO every day? Well this week my tricks include coughing, sucking my thumb, hiccuping, and more breathing practice. Trust me, its more impressive than it sounds. All of those things are going to help me in the long run. Granted they don't do SQUAT when it comes to helping me get outta here, but once I DO escape they'll help me be a part of that 90% survival rate that I talked about earlier.

Here's another nugget of internal information for you. I'm getting to the point where I can partially control my own body temperature now. Don't get me wrong I love that heat that mom gives off, but its high time I turn up the heat a little myself. In another 3 months it'll be up to me to keep my own body temperature set just right, so I better practice while I can! That's what most of my time consists of right now - practice, practice, practice!

And when I'm not practicing, I dream. I dream a LOT! I started off with little flashes of dreams, and now I'm into full-fledged REM sleep. What do I dream about? Escape, you simple-minded fools! So would you if this was your primary residence. There's no going outside for a walk, or heading to the pool for a swim. I AM "in the pool" and I can't get out! So whatever I dream up usually helps me plot, plan, and scheme my way out of that way-too-small escape hatch that I found.

I seriously don't know how on earth I can squeeze out through there. Not with the way I'm growing. I'm up to about 15 inches tall now and weigh about 2.5 pounds! Sure, some of that is the baby fat deposits that I've been getting. About 2-3% of my body composition is fat right now, so I'm actually pretty slim! In fact, my muscle tone is improving quite a bit. Every day I'm able to kick and punch stronger and stronger. I'm so strong now that I can actually wake up mommy with my Baby-Fu fighting moves.

I started playing a NEW game with mommy and daddy too, just to keep them satisfied. It doesn't have a name just yet, but right now daddy's calling it "that thing where we put a remote control on the tummy and watch it move as the baby kicks and punches".

Wow. He's got that no-brainer naming gene that I thought only doctors had. So he's like a doctor, but without the paycheck. Way to step up and contribute dad. Can't you come up with a name that's a bit....oh I don't know....SHORTER???? Can we keep it under 10 words? How about "kick the remote"? Geez, I'm a BABY and I did a better job naming it than you!

I'm getting a little off subject here though. That game has now been documented. Daddy got some video of it and will be adding it to the video section at the bottom of the blog page. So keep your eyes peeled for that! You'll just see mommy's belly, then a remote control rocking back and forth. Its all Baby, baby!

Everything else to report is pretty much superficial stuff. My hair is getting longer, my eyelashes and eyebrows are still growing, and so on and so forth. That's about it! Again, at this point all I'm doing is getting bigger and more developed. Everything that needs to be here is already here.

Okay, you made it to the end of this and you're wondering what I was talking about at the beginning, right? Well the reason WHY I ended on my outside appearance is because as I post this, the three of us are getting ready for a doctor appointment, followed up by a 3D/4D ultrasound. Yep! At long last everyone will be able to see 3-dimensional pictures and video of me. I'll post that stuff on here a little later. But if you want a preview of what it looks like, just do a search for "4D Ultrasound" and you'll see how it looks!

The other pictures are OKAY, but this is going to show me in ridiculous detail. Mom and dad are begging for me to put on a good show during the viewing, and they also said I can't hide my face. Then again, this is ME that we're talking about. I've got daddy's attitude so maybe I'll lay still and cover my face just to prove to them that I'm not here for their amusement. But hey, who knows? Maybe I'll be in a good mood and decide to play ball. You can never tell what I'm going to do next, I'm a Wild Man! Keep your eyes glued to the baby blog - you never know when those pictures will show up!

Now that the big announcement is out, lets move on to the baby names of the week. But before I do, let me just say congratulations to my Uncle Bryan and Aunt Anne who are getting hitched this weekend! Hurry up you two, and make me a cousin to play with.

Last week my Godmamma came up with two names, and it looks like a great majority of the voters liked them! I wasn't able to catch up with her THIS week for more names, and mommy and daddy were both super slammed with work and other things all week long! So, when in doubt, ask more family members! My Uncle Donny sent a list of Joiner Family names that goes back to the mid-1500s! He thought that might help us come up with a few new names. Well, after running through the list, I decided to pick a few names MYSELF!

The first name this week is Thomas William Joiner, named after the first in the Joiner family to come to the New World in the early 1600s, and his son William who was the first Joiner BORN on what would eventually become US soil.

The second name is Charles Mason Joiner. The first name belonged to my great-great-grandpa!

So that's what you have to pick from this week - "Thomas William Joiner" and "Charles Mason Joiner". My first picks ever (with a little help from Uncle Donny of course). Now go to the right side of the page and vote!

That's it for this week. Stay tuned for more updates (and of course those 3D pictures) soon! Until next time BabyStalkers, keep stalkin'!

-BabyBoy Joiner