Week 25 - A Clone War?

Week 25. My time as an only child is quickly drawing to a close. 4 months from now HE will be here. I still need to work on some anti-baby fortifications to protect me and my toys, and I better hurry because THIS week is looking to be a HUGE week of growth for my little brother.

To begin with, he's substantially taller and bigger than last week. He's up to 13.5" tall and weighs about a pound and a half. His size at this age suspiciously mirrors my own. Do we have a copycat on our hands? Or is mommy making an Andrew Clone?

Two of me? Now that would be cool. I could send the clone to school while I hung out with daddy all day. Sure, you might THINK that a day of sitting around in my underwear playing Playstation might seem a bit unfulfilling, but you have to realize that I'm no dummy - I'd ask Clone Andrew to take notes all day long and bring them to me at the end of the day. You know, like a little Toddler Briefing. I could also send him on random "milk runs" to the fridge, use him as a step so I can reach things up high….I could go on and on with all of the possibilities.

I'm not sure if Clone Andrew has the same color HAIR that I do, but I DO know that that sneaky little bugger has finally shed his freaky baby look and got some color in his eyes. That's right, little brother is rocking the baby blues! Not that its a surprise or anything - all babies are born with blue eyes before changing - but its cool to know. If I could take a peek in my old apartment I couldn't quite verify the color though. His eyelids are still shut and won't separate for another week or so. Trust me though, they're blue.

I remember those days well. I would just give girls a look with those baby blues and they'd turn to putty and make "awwwwww" sounds all day long. And now? My eyes are brown but I still get the same response because now they are reacting to the Total Package that is Andrew James Joiner!

Between those baby blues, little brother has finally had a breakthrough…and its a cool one too! His nostrils have opened up. So now he can "breathe" fluid through his nose! Yeah that's a cool party trick, but as a young boy NO nose trick is cooler than a good nose picking. Its funny AND it helps me to breathe better. I mean, what else am I supposed to do with those things in there?

Speaking of breathing, Baby Bro is one blood vessel growing machine. He is CONSTANTLY sprouting these things in his lungs (breathing that fluid is good practice, and the blood vessels "practice" too). But the fun doesn't stop there. Oooohhhhhhhhhhh no it doesn't. He is growing blood vessels like a chia pet because he's got so many throughout his body that his skin is turning pink. PINK! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Hey man, get a tan! You've gotta catch up to me and daddy! That pink skin thing is funny. You look like a giant piece of Hubba Bubba with appendages! (*NOTE* - I don't know what "Hubba Bubba" is exactly, but I asked daddy for a comparison and he pulled that out of his dusty, old man memories.)

Other fun growth facts for BabyBoy Joiner include a still growing, yet fully structured spine, pigmentation of the hair, and a gold Rolex on his wrist. Nah, just kidding about the watch. What would he need to tell time for? Its not like he has to get up and go to a job or anything. He can just chill, eat, and grow. What a life that was.

Its not about the physical growth though. Baby Brother is honing his ninja-like movements and skills in there this week. I know people that know people that have seen it happen, plus I've seen mommy's tummy move so I've got firsthand proof. 

His first and most dangerous development - he can make a fist. Aw man. I was hoping he'd not notice how to do this, but it looks like he figured it out. He could already wiggle his fingers and stuff - a relatively harmless movement - but now the Baby Fist of Fury has been formed and I'll have my work cut out for me. He's also "showing his hand" in the literal sense as he is developing "handedness". He prefers one side over the other but despite all of my contacts on the inside I can't quite tell which side that is. Me and mommy are righties, and daddy is a lefty. Is he here to bring balance to the force, or are we all striving to NOT be like daddy? Only time will tell.

A by-product of the baby fist is grabbing things. Baby Brother LOVES grabbing things, his feet in particular. It looks like he's stretching, like some sort of pre-birth baby warmup routine. Hey kid, slow things down. You've got time. No need to warm up just yet! 

Involuntary movements - reflexes - are starting to happen too! Holy crap, he's got reflexes now? He's taking all of my cool tricks. And he's learning them at roughly the same time that I did too. What gives? Come up with your OWN tricks, you copycat! Or should I say … Clone? I'm telling you, this Clone theory of mine is really starting to make sense. But getting back to the reflexes, if he happens to move his hand by his face and it touches, he'll instantly start sucking his thumb! He will also jump if he hears a loud sound. And if that's not enough, he's also starting to remember voices so he can actually tell who's who! I hope he didn't remember that stuff I whispered to him the last time I got near mommy's tummy. I was taunting him with my plans of attack - I hope he forgets those!

Alright, enough of the blog. I've got a potty to soil. Don't forget to vote on the baby names of the week!

Andrew Joiner, Big Brother