Week 30 - Truckin'

Hey y'all! Its time for your weekly baby blog update! We're in week 30 already and baby brother is fast approaching. But if you hear a revving engine in the distance, its not the baby. No, its not daddy's stomach either. Its a dream for every little boy on the planet…

MONSTER TRUCKS!!!!

That's right! We're going to watch the monster trucks drive around (and over) stuff. Loud noises, flashing lights, and senseless violence and destruction….what else could a little boy want? I'll be sure to share a report on the show in next week's blog. But until then, I'm going to show my excitement by talking in the monster truck announcer voice! Heck, maybe I could do the rest of the blog in a monster truck show voice! Lets give it a try.

"THIS WEEK ONLY, BABY BROTHER WEIGHS IN AT A STAGGERING, EARTH-SHATTERING 3LBS!!!"

"WATCH IN AWE AS HE GROWS TO A MIND-BOGGLING 16" TALL!!!!"

"WATCH HIM GROW, TONIGHT FROM 3 TO 7!!!!!!! YOU'LL PAY FULL PRICE FOR THE SEAT, BUT YOU'LL ONLY NEED THE EDDDDDDGGGEEE!!!!!"

Okay, I'm not sure how well it translates into the written word, but trust me its funny in person.

As I said before the wrestling match took place, we are up to 3 pounds and 16 inches tall. At this point a lot of the lanugo is being shed. Don't remember Lanugo? Just go back and read the details if you'd like. These fine hairs were needed earlier on for warmth but they are no longer needed. And if you're wondering WHY they're not needed anymore….just LOOK at him! My little brother is adding fat to his frame quicker than Oprah Winfrey at a breakfast buffet in Vegas. All of this fat serves as insulation so now he can shed the fur coat.

"WATCH IN AMAZEMENT AS THE FUR HITS THE FLOOR!!!!!!!!!"

Sorry, the monster truck voice came back. We should probably move on to the next topic before it comes back. Lets talk respiratory and digestive systems! They're both "done", more or less. Breathing won't be a problem now, and he'll be able to actually eat for himself instead of getting lunch from the "chow tube". I'm sorry, but that's just a lame way to get introduced into the Wide World of Food. Oh well, he'll just have a little bit of "bottle time" to go and then he can join me in sharing a basket of fries. 

The rest of the week has to do with things either being smooth or rough. First up, his skin. Up until now, he looked like someone went out and bought a baby suit 3 sizes to big and put it on him. Wrinkles, "loose" skin, etc. was the norm for two reasons. He had to have ROOM to grow, plus he was so tiny that there was nothing there to really "fill out" his body. Now with all of this fat being added to his frame, my little brother is pretty dang soft and smooth to touch. 

And then back from smooth to rough, or should I say "ridgey". His little brain is getting more ridges and folds every day which is an indication of his attempts to rival my own quick wit. To this, I merely chuckle and say "good luck with that"! You actually think you have what it takes to match wits with me kid? HA! When we finally have our first showdown, we'll have to borrow the monster truck announcer guy to do the play by play.

"COME SEE THE KIDDIE CARNAGE!!!!!! IT'S A BATTLE OF THE BROTHERS!!! A FRATERNAL FRACAS!!!!! THE SIBLING SHOWDOWN!!!!!!!"

And last but not least, I have a easy-to-follow cheat sheet that shows how to "read" a pregnant woman's belly. By watching my mom's belly move, I've developed a way to tell what part of baby brother is peeking through. I call it my "bump decoder"!

Hard "spot" = baby's head or butt

Long flat surface = baby's back

Short flat surface = baby's arm and/or leg

Small spots = baby's fists and/or feet

Large lump with strange ticking sound = baby brother found my leftover explosives and is planning to blast his way out.

Alright, that's it for this week. Don't forget to go vote on the baby names of the week over on the right side of the screen. And in the words of the monster truck commercial guy….

"ITS THE COUNTDOWN TO POTTY-GEDDON AS ANDREW BATTLES THE POTTY IN THE BATHROOM OF DOOM!!! ITS ABOUT TO GET….DIRTY!!!!!!!!!!"

Andrew Joiner, Big Brother